IM GOING TO FIND YOU, EVEN IF IT KILLS ME!
by Vampirelover922010
Summary: SET DURING NEWMOON Edward left Bella and she is just getting her life back on track, when it's all taken away from her, join bella in her journey to find life, meaning, love and forgiveness.. rated T for later chapters,normal pairing, please review!
1. Chapter 1 teardrop

**TearDrop!-****chapter 1**

**Bella's POV**

I woke up and just laid there knowing that today was going to be like very other day in the boring town of forks. Nothing is the same anymore without _them_ here.

I thought after time I would stop feeling so depressed and alone but I was wrong, the longer time went on the more I knew that they were never coming back.

I got out of bed to start my usual daily routine.

After I had a shower and put my clothes on I went downstairs to make breakfast.

Charlie had already gone to work early which is normal because today was Saturday which didn't only mean Charlie was in work early it meant I had a whole day of mopping around.

As I sat there I started to feel bored not just because there was nothing to do in this town but I was getting bored of me. I have to move on, I can't keep doing this to myself and more importantly I can't keep doing this to Charlie.

_They're_ gone and _he_ is gone and they're never coming back so instead of getting depressed I should be angry after all _he_ did promise he would never leave me and that is just what he has done, its his fault im like this not mine. I wasn't really sure how to move on, maybe if I go to there house and look at it and see its empty, it will make me realise that they really aren't coming back and that I really needed to move on with my life.

I decided that, that was going to be the best plan I could come up with right now so I got my jacket and got in my truck.

The journey to _their _house, no! If I am really going to move on I need to start with their name. So the journey to the… Cullen's house was slower than I thought, maybe because I wasn't use to driving there in my truck for a long while that it seemed to take forever.

As soon as their…. the Cullen's house came into view my heart started to pound harder as the memories came flooding back to me but I knew that this is what I needed. I needed to do this to finally accept it, to finally move on and finally get the old Bella back!

I had to look in the windows because the door was locked and I wasn't about to break in, and everything looked the same, well it was empty and most of their things were gone but the house looked the same.

Although it was hard for me it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be being back here after so long. Unfortunately another thought came into my head, _the Cullen's house is easy, the hardest place to face all this, is your meadow. _

If i truely was going to move on with my life then i needed to the one place where are relationship meant the most. I took a deep breath a started walking on foot to our meadow.

After about an hour I thought that maybe I had gotten lost because even as a human I was sure it wouldn't have taken this long. I walked though the trees when I came across what looked like a little field, with dead flowers in and it looked gloomy.

I was sure that I had gotten lost now but i took a closer look at where I was standing because everything looked the same but at the same time everything looked different.

It was are meadow I was standing in.

Everything was dead, all the flowers where gone and it even smelled different and it also looked different. A tear escaped from my eye and although I had to move on it was still hard knowing that this beautiful magical place was gone too. As I walked into the middle of our once beautiful meadow I knew I was moving on.

What a mess this has all been, what if I just stayed in Phoenix none of this would of happened and I wouldn't have felt any of this pain. Maybe that's what I need to do move away from forks, maybe not back to my mum but some where else away from the pain , away from the memories and away from all the vampires I have met.

That sounded like a good plan, to make a whole new life so I can finally accept and move on. I sat there for a while thinking about were I would go and other things that would help, I knew this was a good plan and I was already getting excited about it.

I stood up ready to make my way back to my truck when I started to feel weird almost like I was being watched.

I heard a small giggle from behind me and I quickly turned around to see the one person who has been in most of my nightmares since I saw her for the first time.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, what a wonderful surprise to see you here" she said with an evil grin.

"Victoria"…...

**

* * *

**

_(I would like to say a special thanks to _**jeasterl**_ for telling me that i had made lots of mistakes on my story and was kind enough to give me an honest review. Since then i can assure you that i have corrected the mistakes and I hope you can properly enjoy the story.)_

****

**Review!**

When I get up to 10 reviews I will upload the new chapter because im not really sure about keep doing this story so I really want to know what you guys think of it plus who ever is my number 10 reviewer ill put a special message up on my next chapter!


	2. Chapter 2 omg bella are you crazy!

**_Previously ….._**

**_I stood up ready to make my way back to my truck when I started to feel weird almost like I was being watched. I heard a small giggle from behind me and I quickly turned around to see the one person who has been in most of my nightmares since I saw her the first time._**

**"_Bella Bella Bella what a wonderful surprise to see you here" she said with an evil grin._**

**"_Victoria"…._**

**_

* * *

_**

All the instincts in my body was shouting at me to run or scream but I couldn't, I couldn't even move I was so scared. As I stared into her blood red eyes and it was then that I knew I was going to die and she wouldn't make it quick that I was sure of.

She started to walk towards me ever so slowly and with each step I could see my life fading away.

"Now im sort of glad Laurent didn't handle my revenge for me this is so much more fun and well you know what they say 'if you want a job done do it yourself' and I intend to. So where's your knight in shining armour surely he wouldn't leave you here all on your own." She said with a spine chilling smile.

"hh..he… me…" I tried to speak clearly but I just couldn't I just wanted her to get on with it but I knew she wanted me to suffer. Suddenly I had an idea, I knew it would still end up with me being dead but at least she would do it quicker.

I small part of my brain was telling not to say what I was about to say but I couldn't help it I just wanted it to be over.

I stood up straight and used all the last strength I had to speak clearly. "The only thing Edward was good for anyway was killing that weak, pathetic creature you sadly called your mate oh what was his name oh yeah James".

_OMG BELLA ARE YOU CRAZY!_

My brain was shouting but I knew it was to late, I doubt saying sorry would fix everything but im glad I stood up to at least one vampire in my life time, which I would call a good ending, _( Bella swan, a human standing up for herself)._

I looked at Victoria and she was visibly shaking with anger- _well good bye world its been fun_! I thought to myself. Just then Victoria opened her mouth and said two words….

"You're DEAD!"

I didn't even see her move, the next thing I knew I was on the forest floor with Victoria on top of me and I could tell that most of my ribs were broken. Then she bit into my neck with her sharp teeth and started to drink my blood very quickly.

I was in so much pain from my ribs being broken, to Victoria sucking the life out of me but even though I was in so much pain I couldn't scream because I knew that would just make her happy. I looked up at the sky and watched as my vision got more and more blurry and that's when I knew it was nearly over.

All of a sudden I heard this loud roar coming from somewhere, it didn't sound like a vampire growl it sounded more like a dogs roar of a wolfs roar. The next thing I knew a very large wolf crashed into Victoria and ripped her head off.

That's all I saw because I was getting very sleepy, the last thing I saw was more of a shadow through my nearly closed eyes ,a large wolf looking at me and I could slightly make out that his fur was light brown and his eyes looked sad. There was this burning pain coming from my neck and was spreading through my body. It was so painful but it started to fade because I closed my eyes and the last thing I fought was… _goodbye Edward I love you!_

_Three and a half days later…..._

**

* * *

**

Ohh sorry guys, have to leave it there for now soooooooo what do you think please review!


	3. Chapter 3 shocked,confused,heartbroken

The past three days I was in complete agony I never thought I would feel pain like that in all my life. I remember waking up a few times screaming just begging someone to kill me, but life was never that kind. A couple of times I would hear people talking but I couldn't make out what they where saying over the screaming.

All of a sudden I felt my heart start to beat so fast just as I thought the pain couldn't get any worse it got ten times worse. After a few minuets which felt like hours I felt my heart stop which is one of the weirdest feelings in the world. I was in complete shock when I was still alive afterwards, something wasn't right I should have been dead but I wasn't.

I opened my eyes and I saw everything for the first time almost like I had been looking through blurry glasses all my life. Things I never notice before was clear to me now. The sounds didn't sound the same also.

I was so confused, I couldn't remember anything. Just then I heard someone move to the right of me and the next thing I knew I was crouching down and snarling.

"Bella…."

I was shocked to say the least, there he was standing there looking scared and sad...Jacob!

"Bella its ok your safe now.."

As soon as he said that my memories started coming back to me ..Victoria.. the meadow… the Cullen's house .. Edward…the pain.. oh no the pain.. the pain after Victoria bit me, I knew that pain I felt it once before with James but this time no one stopped the pain and that could only mean I thing.

"Jacob..am..am.. I ….… am I a vampire now" no please this couldn't be happening, I was just getting my life back.

"Yes Bella you are im sorry I really am"

It took me a while for it to sink in I must have been sitting there for ten minutes. Then I realise where I was, I was in jakes house. How did I get here, I was in the meadow.. Wait the meadow.. the wolves.

"Jake how did I get here and how did you find me" I was so confused.

"Bella we found you, we destroyed Victoria and I brought you to my house"

The way he stood was almost tensed. How did he know what I was and how did he know about Victoria and more importantly how in the world did he destroy her. Jake must of seen my confusion because then he began to speak.

"Bella I need to tell you something, something I should have told you a long time ago"

I sat there for about half an hour whilst Jake explained to me that he was a werewolf. He told me all about the legends of the tribe and the truce with the Cullen's. I stayed quiet while he explained everything to me. He just finished replay the events from three days ago and how he stayed with me through my change.

"So.. We're like mortal enemies now?" that thought broke my heart, Jake was my best friend and I couldn't lose him

"yes Bella we are and im sorry, you know we will always be friends but you cant stay here anymore you have to leave now you are a vampire. im sorry but your just to dangerous and ill ask you not to stay in forks as well because it will be hard for you with Charlie but don't worry we will sort something out and.. I will look after him Bella I promise. I just wished I would have done better looking after you"

Jake looked broken but he knew he couldn't help me anymore although we were friends he had to stand by his family and pack.

"Bella I hope you don't mind but I went back to your house when Charlie was at work I thought you might need something's cloths, photos, books that sort of thing. I wasn't sure what to get I just picked things I have seen you use before. I wish I could have got more but I didn't want Charlie to notice not just yet anyway."

"No no its fine thank you that's…. Very kind of you'

I was still shocked. What am I going to do now? Where am I gonna go?

"Bells you have to leave now im sorry I couldn't help you more but the pack is getting nervous. Don't worry we will look after Charlie"

"No its ok I understand and thank you for looking after Charlie and im gonna miss you Jake"

I was going to miss everyone and I couldn't even say goodbye that was what hurt the most I knew Charlie would be devastated but I knew I couldn't stay here no matter how scared I was.

"Im gonna miss you to bells but just…. Look after yourself yeah"

"I will, bye Jake"

I looked at my best friend one last time then left I knew that pack would be getting more and more nervous each second I was there and I could tell Jake was upset about having to leave me but I understood his reason.

As I crossed the border line my throat started to burn and I could tell from all the things the Cullen's had told me about being a vampire that I needed to hunt. I didn't know how to hunt but I knew that It wasn't going to be a helpless human so I took off running hoping that no human would be out hiking today.

I ran till I saw an elk and then my instinct took over I broke the elk's neck and bite into it drinking its blood. It only took less than a minute for me to drain it completely and I still have the burning feeling. I took down four more and then I was satisfied.

I was walking slowly through the woods giving myself time to come to terms with everything that just happen.

Its weird how one minute I was getting my life back on track and then my whole world was turned upside down. But I needed to be strong not just for me but for my dad. I could only imagine the pain he was gonna go through and it was my fault. I never regretted the decision I made coming to forks.

Me and my dad had gotten so much closer, I made a wonderful group of friends and most of all I met the Cullen's, I met Edward, how could I regret that.

I was feeling lots of different emotions now:

**Scared**- what am I gonna do now

**Heartbroken**- for my dad, Jake and all my friends

**Angry-** at Victoria and the Cullen's

**Confused**- im now a vampire

**Happy** – because I am a vampire which was what I always wanted. Wasn't it?

**Humour** – because the one thing Edward tried so hard to stop me becoming was actually what I had become.

_Thank god Jasper wasn't here_.

I knew what I had to do, even if it was going to hurt , even if they wouldn't wanna know me anymore, but I didn't know what else to do and I had no where else to go with no one else to turn to.

I had to find the Cullen's even if it kills me!

* * *

PLEASE REVIEW!


End file.
